Gentlemen. I rarely address one sex or the other. But, today, I am addressing you. I will only behave like a decent human being and treat you like human beings if/when can see me as, exactly that, a human being and not a woman.
I think I understand this concept and what it’s trying to get across, but it seems a little vague. Are you saying that you want men to treat you as something other/more than a potential sex partner? Is this connected to ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’?
It seems to refer to the age-old question: Can men and women be ‘just friends’? There are two questions that stem from that, and therefore a few scenarios that apply. (This stems mostly from my experience, so take this with a grain of salt.)
1) Do you find him attractive?
2) Does he find you attractive?
If the answer to 1 and 2 are simultaneously yes, then no. You’ll probably hook up or date. (And if you don’t, there will be a LOT of Unresolved Sexual Tension.)
If the answer to question 1 is no, then you probably can be friends, depending on the level of attraction/feelings of the ‘him’. If he’s just physically attracted to you, you can definitely be friends. He just thinks you’re hot, which is a compliment, assuming he isn’t skeevy about it. The same goes for if neither of you are attracted to each other.
But, if he really likes you and cares about you romantically and not just sexually it will be harder, and can sometimes breed resentment (thus, Nice Guy Syndrome). It’s best to keep this person at arms-length. Some girls (and I’ve done this myself) get the idea that this person can still be your BFF and confidant, but that just fuels the fire. Find a new shoulder to lean on if this guy is in love with you. You are giving him hope that doesn’t exist.
This doesn’t excuse that there are people (men and women alike) who do treat others poorly based on what they might want/feel they deserve out of the relationship, but there needs to be sensitivity on both sides.
HOWEVER, it should be noted that both men and women typically size up any new person they meet based on attractiveness/potential sex-partner-ness. It’s biology. That doesn’t mean anyone has an excuse for being gross or overly forward to anyone else, but it’s naive to think there are other factors at play upon first meeting. Once you get to know someone, then they can begin to see what’s under the surface, and vice-versa.
