I just finished a Dance with Dragons…SPOILERS IN HERE, so scroll on if you haven’t read it.

I feel dead inside, and here’s why.

Jon Snow is (at this point) dead, for all intents and purposes. I’m a little skeptical, because Jon is a central character and there’s still so much we don’t know about him. Plus, very few people ever stay dead (although whether they are truly alive or just zombie-creatures is another matter altogether).

Jon’s whole last chapter was an emotional roller coaster anyway because we get this horrible letter from Ramsay Bolton full of threats and nastiness (much of it reflecting Ramsay’s resentment and hatred of his own bastardy) which incites Jon to act—he acts to protect his own honor and (perhaps wrongly) takes the Wall along for the ride by calling a huge meeting and inviting men of the Watch to ride with him.

Surprisingly—and triumphantly—many of the men are on his side and are willing to ride alongside him. It’s a great moment for Jon, who has mused throughout the whole book on his loneliness and on the disrespect he suffers at the hands of the Watch.

But the excitement for the road ahead is very short-lived, because no sooner than the plans are made, Jon is betrayed and stabbed to death (?) by a few black brothers who aren’t as keen on the arrangement.

I was surprised to find myself half-laughing, half-crying as the chapter ended. It was exciting and well-written, but Jon is one of my favorite characters, so I couldn’t help but be devastated at his apparent murder. Sads. :(

Apart from that, much of ADWD bored me, I’m sorry to say. Most of my favorite characters featured in AFFC, so I wasn’t too psyched to spend a thousand pages caring about what Daenerys was (or wasn’t) doing.

The Theon/Reek storyline was the saving grace for me, really. What a fantastic reveal, I literally gasped when I realized that Reek was Theon. Fantastic storyline for him all-around, very disturbing and dark, but it really makes Theon much more sympathetic, if pitiable. It was especially great to see him regaining his identity towards the end, although the parallel of Asha being the one who didn’t recognize him now was heartbreaking.

At this point, the main mysteries for me are:

-Who are Jon Snow’s parents? I know the main theory is Lyanna and Rheagar, and it’s the story that makes the most sense. However, GRRM has done a good job of indicating geneology in the series, and it looks as though Targaryen coloring trumps all. After all, if a child born to a Dornishwoman (who seem to be described as typically darker-skinned/dark-haired) can have that white/silver hair, I’d be hard-pressed to say that the Stark brown can overcome it.

-What did Brienne shout for Lady Stoneheart to spare her? I’m sure all the clues are there, but these books are so long that I’m unwilling to go back and figure it out. :P Also, I just need more scenes of Jaime and Brienne being fabulous. Basically my OTP. I think my soul would fall out if she actually followed through and killed him as per Stoneheart’s bargain.

-Where is Sansa? She was conspicuously absent of ADWD, even though most of the other central characters got at least one chapter in the last third of the book. I know it’s dirty, but I ship her and Petyr a teeny bit. I’m also holding out hope that Sandor is still alive and he and Sansa can be reunited, Beauty and the Beast-style.

-Margaery’s trial, you guys. I know she’s a pretty minor character, but she’s one of my favorites, because she’s SMART. She and her family are using this game to their advantage and have been doing a pretty fantastic job. I’d be a little sad devastated if they killed her off. :(

So, I’m going to go read a lot of essays and theories and pray really hard that there won’t be six years before The Winds of Winter is released.